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| The top of this collage is me with Nana and Papa at our Jr/Sr in the Spring of 1998. Going clockwise the next picture is me and Papa around Christmas of 1981. Next is Nana and Papa with all of their grandchildren at the time, me, Louise, Leigh and Walker, sometime in early 1987 I think. Same with the bottom right except I accidently cut off Kristen's head (sorry Kristen!), in 1990 or 1991. Last is me and Papa and GinGin at the Calgary Stampede in the summer of 1988 or 1989. |
There is a new show that comes on TV on Tuesday nights called About A Boy. Louise and I both loved it when they showed the first episode and decided since Mom and Dad were in town for the Faulkner lectures when the second episode came on that we would have them watch the kids in the living room for thirty minutes so we could watch it together in the Front Room. So at 8:00 we were shutting the door that separates the two rooms and containing our parents and her kids so we could watch our thirty minute show in peace. That is what our plans were from 8-8:30 Tuesday night, March 4th.
Nana had called Daddy earlier that day and told us that Papa was sick and the home health nurse thought he needed to go to the hospital. This wasn't exactly life shattering news since he had spent 82 of the last 365 days in the hospital. Daddy told us his symptoms and I said, "He has another UTI (he always had the exact same symptoms- he would be perfectly fine and within a matter of hours he would be so weak he could barely stand, running a fever and very confused) but it's weird that he's throwing up this time." He told us that he was going down there the next day to check on him and do what he could to help Nana. Daddy talked to Nana again in the 7:00 hour and Papa was still in the ER but they were getting ready to move him to the ICU. Daddy asked Nana if he needed to come on down there that night and she said to just wait until the morning and she would call if anything changed.
Then she called back at around 8:10. Things had changed. We didn't know it yet but everything was about to change. When she called back she was upset and said Daddy needed to come on down. It was quickly decided that Louise and Momma would ride down with him. When the three of them got to Troy (about 45 minutes south of here) Nana called back again and then we found out that everything had changed. Changed forever.
At 10:23 PM EST, March 4, 2014 Papa finally won the race and got his reward. His suffering ended. He was at last bag free again, in no pain, had plenty of energy and would never be confused again. At 9:28 PM CST Daddy called me and told me. We were on the phone for 42 seconds. It's crazy how your life can change with one 42 second phone call.
We moved to Valdosta, where Nana and Papa had lived since 1972, in June of 1981. Just a month and a half before my first birthday. In August of 1998 I went to college and in January of 2000 my parents moved away from there. From June 1981 until August 1998 hardly a day passed when I wasn't around Papa. Some days it would just be in passing or with a visit to the office real quick on the GCS campus, other days it was 24/7 because I was traveling with them. Next to my Dad he has probably been the man with the greatest influence in my life because he was around almost as much as my dad was.
In June of 1999 my Granddaddy Garner died. It was one of the hardest days of my life and I remember I kept thinking now one of my grandparents isn't alive anymore. I don't have all of my grandparents anymore. This past week I kept thinking, I don't have any grandfathers alive now. They were both these HUGE pieces of the puzzle that made up my life and now they are gone.
Both were sick. Both immediately got better. Both are in FAR better places. Both left a hole in my heart. Both will be missed as long as I am breathing on this Earth.
I miss Papa. I'm mad that Papa will never meet Shamrock. He died when I had less than two weeks until my due date. I feel like I needed her to meet him. I knew the odds are that she wouldn't get to know him long enough to remember him but I so badly want to have had her meet him. For him to see her and hold her. I want a picture of him holding her. I know it's selfish and I wouldn't bring him back even if I could but I can want him back. And I do.
What I am focusing on though is that he left her a family name and a family heritage that she can be proud of. From Russia to the Philippines to all over America, whether from mission work, preaching, his work and involvement at GCS, his work with The American Cancer Society, his time playing baseball and as a student at Lipscomb or from his work with the Quitman church for so long, he has positively impacted and changed lives all over the world and for SO MANY people. I can't even count how many people told us at the viewings and funeral "He changed my life." or "I wouldn't be the person I am today without him." Not many kids get to have that kind of person in their family heritage because there aren't that many people in the world like that. So what I am focusing on is how blessed she is to be born into his family.
I am also focusing on the way he lived his life and how to instill those things in her. How to be the kind of parent him and NaNa were and one day how to be the kind of Grandparent he was. I am focusing on seeing the best in people and not focusing on physical ailments and bad things that happen, but focusing more on the blessings in my life, just like he did.
This next part is mainly just for me and maybe Baby Shamrock. It's just a general overview of Papa's life. Things that I have learned and/or know about him that I want to remember. For those of you who aren't myself or a child of mine it's a pretty good story. One that most people could learn from.
Carl White Walker was born in Murfeesboro, TN on May 9, 1932. It was a Monday, right in the middle of the depression and it was also the day that a circus performance was first lit by electricity. The Preakness was held that day. When you look up 'This Day In History' those are the only things that come up. Suffice to say, that baby being born was the most important thing that happened that day and the thing that most changed the course of the world.
His parents were already parents to four other children, two boys and two girls. Papa was the baby. In 1940 his dad, Johnny, got a job offer at the criminal building in Nashville. His oldest brother had already moved to Dayton, Ohio and his sister had already moved out of their home so the only ones to make the move were his mom, dad, his younger sister, middle brother and "Baby Carl". His dad rented the nicest house in their community (that cost $12/month, which was very steep even for his new salary of $45/month), they were in a new city, new job and the depression was finally ending. The 30's were hard on their family (and most families in America) and the 40's were looking much brighter.
Unfortunately, that isn't the way that the story was to play out. When I think of the life from the time he was 8-18, I can't even imagine. During these, some of his most formative years, his middle brother "Bud" committed suicide, his baby sister had a baby out of wedlock and his father's job was eliminated at the Criminal Building. To keep his job he had to transfer over 100 miles away to a prison. His mother refused to move and his dad moved alone. His oldest brother was still living in Dayton, OH and had married. His sister Fran had also married and was living near him and his mom and played a "second Momma" role to Papa all his life. She died while Papa was in ICU in Gainesville, just late last Spring. Fran ("Kankie") and T.R. "Toot" did all they could to shield Papa from all the chaos going on in his life.
In the late Summer before Papa was to go in the 5th grade his sister was nearing time to give birth to her child and Papa was sent to live with Toot and his wife in Dayton to shield him from the birth. When he returned home he had a new niece that was adopted by Fran and her husband. In August of 1946 Papa was baptized at Meades Chapel church of Christ and started that Fall at Antioch High School. A glimpse inside the person that Papa already was, he described this time like this, "For me life was good."
Papa was a great athlete all his life and credited sports with help keeping his life "normal" even with all the "storms." In only the second football game of his 9th grade year he injured his leg and had to have season ending surgery and missed the first half of the basketball season too. Luckily he was able to play the entire of season of baseball. This was important because Papa knew he wanted to go to college and he knew sports was his best opportunity to get there.
That summer he decided to go stay with his sister Mary and her husband, Will T and their children so he could work with Will T at the Shell station he owned. The last Friday he was working there before moving home to start school again there was a life changing incident. The story is best told in Papa's own words so this is his story.
"A car came roaring across the driveway and skidded to a stop at the front door of the station. A man jumped out of the car and started screaming at Will T. Will T was standing in the station door and kept asking him to leave. The man refused and continued to be obscene. I was on the side of the station repairing a tire, but I could see and hear what was going on. Will T was a wounded veteran of WWII. His left leg had been nearly blown off by a land mind during the Battle of the Buldge. He had spent more than a year in hospitals and was still under VA care.
I knew he had a gun in the desk drawer. As the argument heated up I walked down near the door to try to calm Will T down. By the time I got there he had already gotten the gun. I asked him to give me the gun and he kept saying, "I have been through too much in war to let someone hurt me now!"
Before I could talk him into putting the gun away, another car came speeding across the driveway. The man on the right hand side of the front seat jumped out and grabbed me from the rear. He was using me as a shield and advancing towards Will T. There was a lot of yelling and screaming going on. Then suddenly the gun fired and the shot went just by my right ear and hit the man that was holding me right between the eyes! He never knew what hit him. In my mind's eye I can still see parts of his brain on the concrete floor. There was silence. Everyone backed away. I took the gun from Will T, picked up the phone and called police.
For me it was just another tough experience that helped me understand life and some of the uneven roads we must travel. It was difficult but I had to put it behind me and get back in school."
Through all of this Papa's parents kept having troubles. His dad was trying to get transferred back to Nashville to be back with the family and finally did. However, his mother once again refused to move and soon the marriage was over. Their separation and divorce was very unpleasant and Papa was by that time the only child at home and not married so he was made to make a choice. He chose to stay with his mother and continue to help her financially but the decision did not sit well with his father. He completely cut Papa off and they saw very little of each other over the next decade.
In June 1950 Papa graduated from Antioch High School and had several offers to play college football. He had decided on Tennessee Tech but, that was not to be since June of 1950 also saw the war begin in Korea. He was already a member of the Tennessee Air National Guard and that summer found himself going into the Air Force. He decided to put off college and just wait for his call to active duty.
His entire Air Force career was spent in Memphis and Shaw AFB in South Carolina. He worked in the base Finance Office and was able to play (and travel a lot with) the base baseball team. Again, showing so much about the person he was and his character he said at this point his "life continued to be charmed."
After the war was over Papa got out of the Air Force and ended up going to David Lipscomb College in Nashville on a baseball scholarship. Thank goodness for the war keeping him from going to college at Tennessee Tech in 1950. I can't imagine how he ever would have met Martha Copeland then and there is no doubt that if two people were ever meant to be together it was those two. They married just a few weeks after Nana graduated from Lipscomb in June of 1955. God's providence working at it's best.
After they had their first child (my Daddy) in April of 1956 Nana convinced Papa that he needed to try to repair the relationship with his father so their kids could know their grandfather. As long as he was still working at the prison in Nashville they would frequently go on Sunday afternoons to visit. However, when he retired he remarried and they did not see much of each other after that. He died in 1965 and in what can only be described as one last snub left Papa $1 in his will. Papa has never resented him though and always said that his father had "more than his share of troubles."
In November of 1958 their second child, this time a girl, Ginny, was born and in September of 1960 they completed their family with another baby girl, Karen. Right out of college Papa went to work with Sinclair Oil as a sales manager. In 1961 a promotion took the family from Nashville to Knoxville. Another promotion to regional manager of both Carolinas would take the family to Charlotte in 1966. In 1969, due to the problems with the school system in North Carolina the family decided it was best for Daddy to move to Dasher (where Nana's parents, Gramps and Grandmother were) to be a boarding student at Georgia Christian. The next fall Ginny joined him. The next year Karen was ready to make the move too and BP had bought Sinclair Oil and was getting Nana and Papa ready for another move, possibly internationally. The decision was made that Papa would resign from Sinclair and the entire family moved down to Georgia to be together and Papa took a job with Smith Manufacturing Company. That was 1971.
Papa was the sales rep for GA, SC, NC and FL for Smith Manufacturing. The deal made with Mr. Smith was that Papa would fly out every week and work for a week in one of those states and then be home for a week. After a year of this the president of GCS had a heart attack and Papa was asked to help every other week out at the school in his absence. When Papa got there it was quickly apparent that the school needed a full time president so Papa asked Mr. Smith if he could take a leave of absence to help the school. Mr. Smith (an elder of The church) not only agreed but also offered to pay Papa for six months. At the end of the six months Papa did not feel like he could leave the school so Mr. Smith offered to pay him for another six months. At the end of the year Papa felt he could not leave the school and resigned his position with Smith Manufacturing to go to work full time as President of GCS.
In 1973 the Quitman church of Christ (Quitman is about 20 miles west of Valdosta) was looking for a new preacher and asked Papa if he would fill in until the could find a full time preacher. It was one of his favorite jokes that it took them thirty years to find one (even though Papa was kept on at the church until his death, in 2013 Papa was so sick and they hired another minister too). He loved the Quitman church and considered the people there just like family. We all still feel the same way.
In 1980 he took on another role and one that, if I do say so myself, he flourished at even more than all his successful roles so far. That July in Lubbock, Texas he became Papa to his first grandchild, 10lb 6 1/2oz baby girl. Personally, this was my favorite role he had his entire life. He would continue honing his skills as Papa ten times over, over the rest of his life. It is one of my best accomplishments to have made him a Papa and we always shared a special relationship.
In 1998, the year I graduated from high school I was thrown a devastating curve ball in my own charmed life when both Papa and my Granddaddy Garner were diagnosed with cancer. I was so close to both and was as scared as I had ever been in my short life. Papa was diagnosed with prostate cancer and decided to go with a Dr in Nashville who was a long time family friend and got involved in a trial instead of the usual, chemo and radiation. This trial meant many, many, many trips back and forth between Quitman and Nashville for Nana and Papa. The ironic thing is, they both consider this time period as one of the best of their lives and Papa even wrote a book called, "Cancer Can Be Fun" and he truly believed and lived that. After a long road he was declared in remission but due to the non FDA approved trial (which is now considered SOP for his type of cancer, but then meant insurance did not cover it) most of their life savings was gone as was their business that they had started when he retired from GCS with my dad and Aunts. I never once heard him complain nor have I heard of anyone that ever heard him complain and in fact, only heard the opposite of how blessed he considered himself. The theme of his life, choosing to focus on the blessings instead of the burdens continued.
In 1999 when my Granddaddy Garner lost his battle with cancer Papa and Nana were there and mourned with us. I was so blessed to have not only amazing, Christian pillars of their communities as Grandfathers but ones that were friends and shared so much respect for each other.
In 2004 Nana and Papa took their first mission trip to the Philippines and would soon become President of the Philippine Theological College. He would end up making dozens of trips back and forth to the Northern PI, sometimes as many as four a year, between then and 2011. He absolutely fell in love with the Filipino people and him and Nana did all they could physically, financially and spiritually for them but always contended that he got so much more from his work there than he was ever able to give. The people there loved him and Nana so much and we have received so many kind words from them since his death. Nana and Papa's adopted daughter even named her son after Papa. They are consider Lolo Carl and Lola Martha (Tagalo for Grandfather and Grandmother) to dozens, if not hundreds in that area.
In 2011 Papa's Coumadin (high powered prescription blood thinner) levels got off and that means an automatic stay in the hospital. It's frustrating for patients because they feel completely fine and really are completely fine but even a knick can lead to bleeding to death so to the hospital you must go. During this stay one of the Dr's realized since Papa had been in remission for over 10 years that he hadn't had a scan in over 10 years and suggested that they go ahead and do one since he was already there even though he was having no symptoms or problems. It was during this scan that they found a silent bladder cancer. Over the next six months he had many more tests in Valdosta, Nashville and Gainesville where colon cancer was also found and a plan was made that included complete removal of the bladder, replaced with a bag and a section of the colon removed and replaced with a "temporary" bag while his colon healed.
I'm choosing not to focus on a lot of the details of the next two-ish years details because I do not believe, as most of the other facts and details I have highlighted, are life defining to his great life. He fought harder than anyone has ever fought anything ever before, showed amazing dignity and strength and even through unbelievable pain and setbacks always kept a positive attitude and faith. The most amazing thing shown in the final months and years of his life was the relationship between Papa and Nana. In my humble opinion, it is the greatest love story I have ever witnessed in my entire life. You would be hard pressed to find anyone familiar with the situation who would disagree with me. They lived out "for better and for worse" and "in sickness and in health" more than anyone I have ever seen. I am sad that Matt didn't get to know Papa in a healthier stage of his life but feel SO blessed that in our first years of marriage we got to witness that stage of their marriage. We both believe that it is an example that we hope to emulate over the rest of our lives together and teach to our own children and grandchildren.
It would be such a disrespect to the legacy Papa has left and the life he lived for me to focus on how much I wish our sweet baby girl could have met him and had him in her life even though it is so tempting to focus on that. Instead, just as Papa did so many times in his life, I am choosing to focus on the positives and the blessings. I was so so beyond blessed to have had Papa in my life for over 33 1/2 years. I am so glad that Matt got to know, learn from and love Papa for over three years. I am so so happy that he got to perform my wedding (the last of over a hundred he performed over the years) and know about his forth great grand child. I am so proud of the Walker name that he left and so proud to have been his grandchild and I vow to do my best to let his legacy live on in me and teach it to his great grandchildren.
I know this has been a very long post. It has taken me several hours over two weeks to write. It has been very emotional for me to write. I am glad I wrote it. It is totally inadequate and I am sure I will think of a million things that I wish I had added or changed about it. However, writing it has been very therapeutic and I have loved the hours I have spent on the phone with Nana and Daddy learning some of the facts that I needed. I hope our sweet baby girl will read this one day and will feel as blessed as I do to be a part of this man's great legacy.
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| Papa performing Matt and mine's wedding in September of 2011. |
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| Me and Papa in Washington DC. I think 1986. |
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| Mine and Papa's last picture and his and Shamrock's only picture together. January 2014. |
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| One of my favorites. I'm not sure who's face glows with more adoration here, his or mine. I'm guessing sometime in 1982. |
