1. Sunday, April 28 I woke up to the sound of my phone vibrating. I tried to ignore it but it kept going off. I finally looked at it and I saw that I had a missed call from NaNa and some Facebook messages. I wasn't concerned because it's not unusual for NaNa to call before I wake up (forgetting about the time difference) and Mom, Louise, Leigh and I all are in a Facebook message group and every time one of us replies in there it makes my phone go off. It's also not unusual for the three of them to be talking a lot back and forth before I get up. So, I laid the phone down (there was only about ten minutes until my church alarm was going to go off) to get my last few minutes of sleep. Then it kept going off. When I looked again NaNa was calling so I answered. I knew immediately by the sound of her voice that something was wrong. She told me they had moved PaPa to ICU. I told her I was going to drive down and she said no to wait until they figured out exactly what was wrong (he was unresponsive). I called Gin, talked to Daddy (who was on his first full day in the Philippines and not scheduled to return for three weeks) on Facebook messenger and called Louise and Leigh. Against my better judgement I got dressed and went on to Sunday school (where I had a minor meltdown talking about it to put him on the prayer list- the first of many meltdowns that day) and church. After church they let us know that they knew there was a leak from the surgery but they had to find out if his body had repair it (they obviously did not want to take a very sick 80 year old back in to a surgery less than a week after being in surgery) or if they would have to go back in. Again I said I was going to come down there and again I was told no. Let's wait and see if he needed surgery. If he did, then Leigh and I would head down there. As we were waiting for the test results Matt and I decided to run by our rental house in Dalraida to check on a small problem. We called my cousin Samantha (who lives there with roommates) to see if it was ok if we ran by. She answered the phone sobbing and told me that she had just been on the phone with my Aunt and that things were worse than they thought with PaPa. She said she wanted to go if we went down there. I told her we were and told her to head back (she was about two hours away at a baby shower). I stayed calm when I got off the phone and completely broke down as soon as we hung up. I could barely even catch my breath to tell Matt what was wrong. I told Matt to head to Louise's and called Leigh. My awesome rock star like sister Louise decided that she could leave Ellie here with her daddy (and the help of an awesome Uncle and friends!) and pack up her not quite three week old baby and ride almost seven hours down there and do what needed to be done. I CAN'T give her enough credit here! Anytime I get scared about being a mother (you know, pretty much every day) I think about her and what an awesome mom she is and find great comfort in knowing she will be there to hold my hand along the way. Ethan also deserves a lot of credit because he could not have been any better than he was! We barely knew he was there but NaNa knew and he was the best thing we could have brought along to help :) So, the four of us pack up and ride down there. There were A LOT of tears, some laughter, no sleeping and a lot of nervousness. We were definitely not sure he would still be alive when we got there. On top of all the normal worries, we were sick for my dad (in the Philippines) and Walker (my cousin, in China) and how hard it must be for them. When we got there PaPa was already out of surgery and we were able to go back and even see him. He was on a respirator and had tubes poking from everywhere in his body but I can't remember seeing anything more beautiful! The one thing I kept thinking over and over was how it was a mistake to wait this long to try to get pregnant and that I really hoped I had not robbed my future kid of meeting this amazing man.
2. This past Sunday (May 5) Leigh and I started teaching the 0-12 month class at church. I have NEVER felt less maternal than I did for that 45 minutes. The baby I held most of the time would NOT stop (never stopped!) crying. I could literally feel my uterus shudder.
3. I listen to talk radio and on Laura Ingrahm (sp?) today they were talking about the Plan B pill and one thing that opponents say to it is that it hasn't been around long enough to see if there are any long term effects. Laura said, "Look at birth control and all the women who can't get pregnant because they were on the pill for fifteen years." Geez menetti! I was on it for twenty! What if I am among the women who can't get pregnant? I'm not borrowing trouble but it did increase worries that were already there.
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