This is the book I ordered today.  I'm not freaking out.  I'm really not.  However, it is well documented that I have (I believe very valid) fears about infertility.  Then this past weekend two things happened:  1) I found out that a friend from church is pregnant.  It took her ONE month of trying.  2) I figred out that I have four tiny little months to get pregnant or I will be 34 when I have our first baby!  I know, I know.  People have babies who are perfectly healthy after that, that's not too old to be a mom, etc.  To that I say, that people have unhealthy pregnancies and babies later in life too and for us, we feel like we are getting pretty close to the age to where we would be too old to have kids.  I mean, 38 doesn't necessarily sound too old to have a newborn but fifty really sounds like too old for me to have a 12 year old!  I'm only 32 now and sometimes I just barely have the energy for a four year old's sassy mouth!  (These are things that we feel are right and wrong for us, they have NOTHING to do with the decisions others make!) 

So, here goes taking my temperature every morning, tracking my ovulation (I'm not even 100% clear on what that even means) and monitoring when we have sex.  I have never had as many conflicting emotions at one time.  I didn't even think it was possible to have this many emotions going through me at one time!  How can I be SO excited yet so nervous and so scared and so sure and so very unsure?  How can you be so happy you literally want to jump for joy yet, at the very same time be almost paralyzed by fear?  Geez menetti...